Why Do Men Like Boobs?
by YourADDBuddy
Summary: Rukia has a question. One every girl would like to ask and every guy is afraid to answer. 'Why do men like boobs'


Ok, this takes place after the "Rescue Rukia" arc thingy, because by then Ichigo would know who was who. And so yes. Are they out of character? Probably. Do I care? Right now, no.

Warnings: If you read the title, you should know what you're in for. By the way, I'm allowed to talk about boobs because I have them myself.

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"Oi, Ichigo!"

"What is it, Rukia? Is it a hollow?"

"…No. But I have a question."

"Is it important? I promised to meet Chad at 4:00."

"I'll make it quick."

"Well, what is it?"

"Why do men like boobs?"

"…No, seriously, what's your question?"

"I am serious!"

"Why do want to know?"

"…I'm curious, is all."

"Stop lying."

"Well, I went shopping with Rangiku and I realized…well..."

"Realized what?"

"I'm small."

"Yes, yes you are."

"You don't have to agree!"

"But you said it first!"

"Still."

"My hand is bigger than your face, of course you're small. Everything about you is small."

"But her boobs are bigger than my head! And people were staring. What makes them so appealing?"

"Can't you ask someone else?"

"I've already asked around. Nobody could give me a straight answer."

"You've asked other people already? Here?"

"No, back when I was in Soul Society. I got some interesting reactions. So far, you've been one of the more stable ones. But, you are from the material world, so I guess it's to be expected."

"Thanks, I think. Did you ask Renji?"

"Why do you care?"

"I don't want to repeat something you've already heard."

"He was the first person I asked. He turned redder than his hair, muttered something under his breath, then he ran away."

"Never knew Renji would get so freaked out, heh."

"And then he couldn't look me in the eye for a week. I don't know why…"

"…Really. You have no idea why a guy would get embarrassed from having this kind of conversation with his closest girl friend?"

"Oh…I get it."

"Who else did you ask?"

"I asked that Izuru guy. He blushed too and told me to go ask Shuuhei."

"What did Shoes say?"

"He looked at me funny and said he didn't know exactly. He said it was like asking a Hollow why it likes souls. They just do. Considering the 69 tattooed on his face, he wasn't very helpful."

"I get what he's saying. Sort of. I mean, if you want to think of it that way."

"Well, I asked Hanatarou, but he passed out before he could answer me."

"I believe it."

"I asked a few captains. Captain Ukitake had a coughing fit and had to go back to bed. Captain Kyoraku just giggled. I think he was a little more than inebriated."

"Did you ask Byakuya?"

"Do you really think I would ask my _brother_ why men like boobs?"

"He refused to answer, huh?"

"He didn't refuse. He just got very quiet and had a glazed look in his eyes. When he showed no signs of responding, I left."

"Maybe that was for the best."

"You're probably right.

"Oh yeah, I asked Yumichika and Ikkaku."

"And?"

"Yumichika said they stood for all that was beautiful in women. I get the feeling that he wants a pair for himself. "

"Wow."

"And Ikkaku just laughed."

"Did you ask anyone else?"

"The last person I talked to was Urahara. He was rather happy that I wanted his opinion on the subject."

"What did he say?"

"He said he likes them because they are bouncy, fun to look at, and even more fun to play with."

"Wow, I never thought to phrase it that bluntly."

"Yeah."

"So now what? You have a lot of answers already, why are you still asking? You do realize how uncomfortable you've made people, right?"

"Yes, I understand that, but—"

"You want bigger boobs, don't you?"

"What, I never said that!"

"Why else would you be so concerned about them?"

"I'm not concerned, it's just—"

"You want people to look at your boobs."

"I do not!"

"That's why you're getting so self-conscious."

"I'm not self-conscious!"

"Well, just so you know, you have nice boobs. They fit you."

"Umm…thank you?"

"Even if they are small."

"…"

"See ya, Rukia."

"Bye, Ichigo…wait, you didn't answer my question!"

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1. Does Rukia even know all these people?

2. Yes, I have asked people this question. And yes, some freaked out.

3. Why did it not have a definite answer? Because I haven't gotten a definite answer.

4. Yes, I call Shuuhei Shoes…it's a long story; I have a ton of nicknames for Bleach characters.

Review because you love me.


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